Monday, May 08, 2006

The Jitters

Sunday afternoons are often pretty relaxing for us, as we lazily spend time at my mother-in-law's house having brunch, and then often a few hours afterwards letting the kids do their thing while we visit or nap. It's a lot like the Sundays I spent at my grandparents' homes near Duluth when I was growing up.

Yesterday was a little different, though. After brunch, my hands started to get sweaty and I felt a lump growing in my stomach. I was clearly feeling nervous. Something was about to happen.

Sarah's piano recital.

It's funny how your own child's performances can have you relive your own performance anxieties--- it certainly is the case with me. I used to be extremely scared of my piano recitals and dreaded them. In hindsight, I don't know what I was so worried about. They were almost always in my piano teacher's home, so they were small in scale, and I usually did pretty well.

Sarah's recitals are in a small recital hall at Schmitt Music in Edina. There's a real stage with spotlights and everything. Maybe that's what gets me so nervous; the child piano player in me equates it with Carnegie Hall, and starts to get all stressed out about it ahead of time.

But Sarah acts pretty cool and doesn't seem to be that nervous. She calmly listens to the other pianists, goes up when it's her turn and plays a near-perfect performance, and returns to her seat. The jaded pro.

While I sit there wringing my hands and trying to keep those butterflies calm in my stomach.

2 comments:

Krupskaya said...

I was totally the same way about piano recitals, even in high school. I can't even imagine watching your own child go up on stage and play the piano.

Kris said...

It's scary as heck. And I failed to mention that on the stage is a *grand piano*, too. As in, any mistake made will be that much more grand!

It's also pretty amazing, though. We watch her up there in her dress, all poised and playing calmly, and it's really hard to believe. It's odd to watch someone who is eight conquer something that I couldn't. And it's strange to feel that level of admiration for my own child.

Hopefully it's something I can get used to. =)